A few months ago, my husband and I were confirming some changes to our end-of-life planning, etc. Realistically, after his dad passed away, he finally understood why I was always so pushy about making sure our documents are in order…or at least getting on track and communicated, at a minimum. Being that we come from a lineage that usually has a well, they’ll figure it out mindset (which allows folks not to grieve), we are trying to minimize that. And now as parents, I couldn’t imagine not being responsible enough to prepare for our children’s care and finances should something happen to us. Living abroad makes that need of planning even more profound and I’m glad we started updating our plans during our 1st pregnancy. Ultimately, no one is exempt.
So it surprised me when he mentioned that if something happened to one of our child(ren), we’d cremate and keep our child(ren) with us. Who wants to ever think about something happening to their child(ren)? None of us do. But I really appreciated that he was being so forthcoming about the nature of life. Things happen…and while we pray to God that it isn’t in our trajectory, it is a discussion we’ve had – just like discussing if something happened to one or both of us…
It also surprised me that he mentioned not wanting to be left on American soil; which led to another discussion. While our updated will’s codicil amendment states that I am not to be buried nor have a funeral, we hadn’t really thought about where we’d like to be. We’ve now decided that as a family, if anything happens to any of us, we will not have our bodies transported back to the states. We wish to be cremated or buried on the continent of Africa (regardless of whether we are living in the Motherland at the time). Now that we’ve decided on these changes, we need to provide our trustee and our children’s’ guardian(s) our latest updates for transparency.
Yes, we are taboo and non-traditional in so many ways…and are happy that we aren’t too prideful to be responsible and communicate appropriately. It’s necessary. This is the plan for our little family (really our only main focus). We regularly recommend and request and advise that people get their stuff in order while they are still living. We don’t have everything in order, but we are trying our best. Of course, people’s priorities are more-so focused on the world instead of realizing that we are to live life and enjoy ourselves, but that all good things come to an end at some point. We want our children and future generations to know that we thought about them. Although, we continue praying for a long, healthy, vibrant life. There is so much life to be lived and we thank God for each breath and each day…but also for a sound mind and discernment.